The newest trend in hand fashion is out of this world, literally. Stars and people alike are dying their hands varying shades of purple. The trend, supposedly started by a Kara Christensen, living less than a block from Hollywood Blvd.
To achieve the much coveted and surprisingly flattering purple hand trend, doesn’t take any more effort than dragging an elephant into a puddle of water. And even better, it costs at least half as much.
First get yourself a dye. RIT is a favorite brand, in Navy Blue shade. This can’t be found at most supermarkets since they mostly stock black and brown. But it can be found on some off beaten path specialty store that charges a few dollars just for allowing you the chance to view their merchandise.
Secondly buy a very large durable plastic bin. One that preferably does not easily fit through your doors, and leads to great difficulty when it comes to attempting to fill it with water. Which leads us to our next step.
Dawn an old t-shirt, put a t-shirt over the top of that, that you like less, to protect the first one. And a pair of rubber boots that are completely water proof. Also, add stylish plastic gloves that sag around your wrists instead of closing tightly.
Choose an obnoxiously hot day, in the room furthest from your air conditioner. In this case the kitchen works marvelously. Proceed to heat water on both the stove and your hot pot. Breathe in that natural moist heat that is now surrounding you. Start filling bin with hot sink water. Since the bin is of course to large to fit under the faucet, pull out tiny tea cups and begin filling.
Add the boiling hot water to the tub. Pray you’ve chosen a rugged enough design that the plastic wont melt. But in either case, those boots are going to save your feet from harm.
Wet garment in bin. Squish garment down into water, don't allow water near your hands. Stuff garment in sink. Wonder if garment will ever be the same again.
Pour in a salt. Pour in more salt. Stir concoction with whisk. Worry you don’t have enough salt. Pour more. Worry you don’t have enough salt in your in your container to ever refill salt shaker again. Sigh, and put container away. Pull container out, stand in indecision for a minute. Pour a little more, and be done with the salt for good. Stir again.
Pour in dye. Stir. Get called by roommate to come see your amazingly large closet. Lay down in closet to experiment with it’s size. Stretch arms out full length. Marvel. Enjoy proximity to air-conditioning. Almost fall asleep. Remember now cooling dye. Jump up, and return to stifling hot kitchen.
Add garment to dye mixture. Stir with your gloved hands. It’s good to favor one hand over the other. Reach deep enough into mixture, and this is vital, that the saggy wrist of gloves allows a fair amount of dye in. Keep gloves on for duration of the dye.
Stir for thirty minutes with hands, while sitting on the floor of kitchen. Question your roommates about how much time has passed. Moan to your roommates that you're lonely. Wonder why they wouldn’t give up air-conditioning to come sit on the floor of a steamy hot kitchen with you. Wonder if it’s your breath. Realize you can’t have a breath mint because your hands are dipped in dye, and the mixture must not be left, but stirred.
Be saved by amazing heroic roommates who come and feed your drinks of water from a glass and M & Ms. Try not to laugh so hard, that you spill water all over the t-shirt you don't like.
Rinse dyed garment in sink. Watch the dye come off of it. Wonder if it will now be really awful version of it’s original color. Hang garment to dry.
Try to pick up rugged bin. Find it’s to heavy and full of dye. Start scooping out liquid with the before mentioned teacups.
A few days later remove gloves and rinse hands. The skin should be pruny, dry and two completely different shades of purple. You have now achieved your goal. Draw lines on the side of your hands with eyeliner (attempt not to smudge throughout evening). Have that breath mint and show off your amazing purple “gloves” for all to see.
I went to a concert. Which I would not recommend do to the dark nature of the club, and strange lighting, it was difficult for anyone to notice my handiwork.
